Thursday, May 17, 2007

An Open Letter to Spammers


If any of you know someone who sends spam, please pass along this message.

Dear Spammaster,

Before you send out your next spam, please take the time to make a grammar and spell check. If this is too hard, at least check the subject. This is your chance to snare me! Don't blow it! For instance, today I received an email with this subject:

YOU HAVE WON $820,000.00! RESPONSE IMMEDIATELY

First, adding ".00" makes it immediately sketchy. If I win money, I don't care how many cents there are -- only the dollars count.

Second, it should read "RESPOND". This is just shoddy work. I know that creating spam is an emotionally draining creative endeavor, but all that hard work is wasted unless you go the extra mile. I WANT to believe that I won the money! I WANT that sense of anticipation between giving you my bank account number (1234567890, by the way) and seeing a balance of $0.00 (cents are important in that case)! But YOU have to make it work for me. I'm not asking much, and I'm offering so much.

Sincerely,
Disappointed Patsie

1 comment:

angrylilazngrl said...

aahhhhHAHHAAHHHA! i can always cound on a giggle from you. maybe i can look for work proofreading american spam...!