Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Reminiscing: Awesome Specs


I think this picture makes it pretty clear why I didn't date more in college -- stealing glasses from a 70 yr old high school history teacher wasn't the best idea ever. Of course, these ARE smaller than most sunglasses today.




Now, 3 years later and I look pretty darn good, yet Julia still manages to outshine me (in fairness to me, she was glowing from the wedding, I'd been chopping onions). And, one does have to admit, I have some smoking hot friends. Julia will still be mad at me for the first photo, but she'll have to get over it.
Reminiscing: Best. Photo. Ever.




This pretty much sums up our trip to Big Bend National Park. How could anyone give our beloved blogger such an obvious drop-dead look? Even FDR's stinkeye to Kramer was friendlier than this. Personally, I think this is one of my better portrait snapshots. Contrast this with this photo, taken 2 weeks earlier:




On the bright side, we're almost all friends again. And, yes, I know I make that same stupid face in all photos. I'm working on it.
Reminiscing: Pretty in Pink



1 angry reader, so many happy teammates. Brent was thrilled when he got my aunt's vintage 1960s bedroom at my grandmother's house. My Grandmother then argued that it didn't need to be renovated before selling. Ouch. I was going through old photos so today will have some blasts from the past. Unlike Steve's awesome montages, I have to do separate photos. Get over it.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Kiss My Mac, Picasa


Ok, my friends with blogs talk about how great Picasa is. But apparently it's not great enough to have a Mac version. What is wrong with you people? That extra 4% of market share isn't appealing? So, no cool photo animations yet from me.
The Oktoberfest Gold Standard


Definitely the most lasting image from Oktoberfest was this woman, sucking down beers & cigarettes like there was no tomorrow. It was quite mesmerizing, like watching a car wreck in slow motion. Good times.
Statue-Gazing: Munich



Is it just me, or does it look like Mary is about to get on board with the whole "spare the rod, spoil the Messiah" theory of parenting?



Good choice for first statue on the base of the "Bad Baby Jesus" plinth: A toddler killing a snake -- that's a theme the whole family can get behind (except maybe the kid pressganged into serpenticide duties).




Once the snakes are gone, dragons are a huge problem. Good call on getting rid of them.



Nothing ruins a town faster than a bunch of man-eating lions. It happened to Babylon AND Detroit, it could happen here. A proactive choice for a proactive city.



Snakes, Dragons, Lions -- all gone. Now it's time to take on the real threat: chickens*. You have to be kidding me -- chickens? Granted, that's one big-ass, angry chicken, but c'mon. No bears? Why not stick some guy with a penciled-on mustache in a striped shirt & beret there instead? Nobody's scared of Frenchie, either.





Yes, I know it's a basilisk. But that's not as funny as a chicken.
Playing to Type



This photo is great because it panders to 3 national stereotypes:
Japanese: Tourists that take photos of EVERYTHING.
Germans: All women wear dirndls, right?
Americans: No contributions other than mocking other countries.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Why Can't You Just Be Honest With Me?


Dear Shutterfly,

I am tired of the lying. The delays, the missed dates, the broken promises. Just tell me when my photos will be uploaded. No more of this "Time Remaining: About 4 Hours" for 2 hours straight. I want an estimate and I want you to stick to it. If I wanted someone to tell me what I wanted to hear, I would believe a D├╝sseldorf weather report that used the word "sunny". Let's be adults and be honest with each other.

Sincerely,
JT
Change O' Plans


Originally, I'd planned to spend my last week of vacation (other than the 2 weeks i'll be spending in Dallas) visiting the great cities of Eastern Europe in November. I recently began to weigh the pros and cons of this idea vs a week in Morocco.

Eastern Europe
Pros:
- Gorgeous Women
- Tasty, albeit heavy, food
- Cool old buildings and museums
- Great bars & clubs (see #1)
- Great beer & wine

Cons:
- Cold, dreary weather
- Color scheme stolen from the Kansas scenes of "Wizard of Oz"
- Been there, done that


Morocco:
Pros:
- Sunny weather
- Africa -- never been there
- Fabulous food
- Beaches
- Summery weather to compensate for the 3 months of rain in the Dorf

Cons:
- Potentially gorgeous women far too covered
- Not so much on the booze side
- Chances of dying in the desert or by crazy fundamentalist Muslim suicide bombing significantly higher than in Europe

Verdict:
I'm headed for the Dark Continent! Questions I hope to answer:
1. See if Ingrid Bergman came back after the war.
2. Is there actually a Kasbah?
3. If so, can I rock it?

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Living Up to The Title


I think it's awesome that all the women I saw today in HR were pregnant.

Monday, September 10, 2007

German Obsessions: Part I


Scott* & I have been discussing various German obsessions, and here some of them are, in no particular order:

1. Tanning: Apparently this is the average German's defense against terrorism and global warming. They make East Texas sorority girls look pale and well-adjusted.

2. Polo Shirts: Clubs, casual Friday at the office, running, the gym -- the pink polo shirt goes anywhere, for either sex, as long as the collar is popped.

3. Jaywalking: Jaywalking Americans will be the first ones up against the wall when the putsch comes, I can tell you. German drivers actually ACCERLERATE when they see jaywalkers. It's every German driver's dream to kill a pedestrian and watch the cops write a ticket to a corpse.

4. Mayo: Jules from Pulp Fiction was right -- they love that shit. The average German, by my estimate, eats 10 lbs of mayo. A month. It's disgusting.

More soon...


* If anything makes you laugh, I probably stole it from him.

Saturday, September 08, 2007

CLARIFICATION: Chris Rock


Ok, I didn't just find that photo online -- we actually saw him in person at a comedy club. I have to say, those of you who thought I just randomly found a snapshot of him -- my postings aren't that lame. Or I hope they're not.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

NYC: The Metropolitan Museum of Art




Photos from my day at the Met. The rest of the Octogon went to Ellis Island instead.

NYC: Museum of Natural History


Lemurs, dinosaurs, frogs, rocks -- It's pretty sweet if you're a science geek...

More photos at shutterfly!
You May Have Heard This One...





So, apparently, major comics do just show up to New York comedy clubs to work on new material -- in this case 40 minutes of all new material. We also saw Dave Attell (scheduled), Louis CK (unscheduled, and hilarious), and one of the guys from Chapelle Show.

Also, one of the guys outside told us this joke:

What did Abe Lincoln say when he woke up with a hangover?
I freed WHO?!?