Wednesday, May 26, 2010

JT Is Stayin' Alive

Facebookers go HERE for video. Fun from the archives -- 2008 Bibione footage. Enjoy!

JT - Swiss TV Star*!

FBers go HERE for video.

32 seconds in, who's showing unbelievably good lounging form? Your friendly neighborhood blogger, that's who. Footage courtesy of some Geneva TV station. My tournament writeup will follow soon enough.

* Yeah, yeah, "star" is a bit much. But a blogger's gotta keep the page hits coming, right?

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

My Top-Rated-Workout-Killing-Songs

It will come as no surprise to my friends and family that I'm incredibly lazy with my iTunes playlists. I update them very rarely* and so "My Top Rated" is my go-to workout playlist. This is dangerous, as I like quite a few songs that are slow** or otherwise not conducive to a good run. On the other hand, these are perfect*** for Meryl.

My Top-Rated Workout Killers:

  • "Big Rock Candy Mountain" by Harry McClintock - As Alex F will tell you, this song is awesome. But it's slow and I have to pause to hear "and the little streams of alcohol come a tricklin' down the rocks" which then makes me laugh.
  • "Bitter Sweet Symphony" by The Verve - It might've been in a Nike commercial, but it's for long, slow rides**** only.
  • "Fast Car" by Tracy Chapman - Normally, folk songs about the thin line between success and homelessness get me fired up. Not this one.
  • "Yellow" by Coldplay***** - This is a great song if you like to nap on the treadmill.
  • "Human Beings" by Seal - Seal is great for setting the mood -- for lovin', not runnin'.
  • "The Joker" by The Steve Miller Band - Not even speaking of the pompitus of love can get me moving.

* Dick-Cheney-admitting-mistakes rarely.
** This is how you know I'm gay.

*** Just a reminder, the theme from "The Bodyguard" is the worst possible workout song.  You'll drop your weights or hop off the treadmill before Whitney gets to the end of her first "and Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii will always love you"
**** That's intentional double-entendre there.
***** Also how you know I'm gay.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Ghent G-Spot Wrap-up

FBers go HERE for photos.

So, Ultimate deLux had our first tournament of the year, G-Spot in Ghent.  How was it?  Let's get the breakdown:

Travel: This is one where I pretty much dropped the ball.  Actually, work took the ball out of my hands, put it on the ground, then stomped it flat*.  My plan to have Reverend Stiffy squire me around Antwerp gave way to an early train to Ghent and some tasting of local beers.  I thought the brown was pretty tasty, though Josh's enjoyment was lessened due to my camera obsession.  At least I crossed another brewery off the list!

Party: A great party!  Of course, you get a bunch of drunk Irish in fancy dress** and you're either going to have fun or the makings of a good joke.  Definitely one to return to, hopefully with a costume and after a power nap.

Play: We played ok, but very sporadically.  It was painfully obvious that it was our first tournament and that we were missing 2 of our speedy guys due to injury.  We finished 7th out of 14, but several people stood out.  Jan was a rock on O, Bojan continued to step up his play, and Micha had some big Ds.

Injury Report: Here are the injuries, and their explanations (not necessarily what was claimed by the injured party):
  • Judith: Neck, later found out to be the result of bad encounter with a vampire.
  • Torben: Ankle, suffered trying to get home early from his previous tournament.
  • JT: Ankle, suffered trying to moonwalk on the treadmill to impress a woman.
  • Dani: Knee, suffered doing a complete splits while breaking a mark.
  • Meryl: Hamstring, suffered while trying to throw both the O and D gurus under the bus.

Team Fun:  For the first tournament with this group, it was a blast!  The continued quest for Meryl's nickname continued, with Snort leading the way.  Fred's dancing and cheers were great, and those who had costumes did so with style (or, more accurately, a complete lack thereof).

Photos:  Enjoy!

* With the help of the Thalys.
** "Costume" for any Americans still reading this

Monday, May 17, 2010

Semi-Regular German Lesson: Fleischdecke

One thing I love about learning German* are the many awesome words that we don't have in English.  Of course, "schadenfreude" has been stolen and my friends are slowly working "wegbier" into conversation.  This weekend, I learned another.

Friday night was cold.  Really freaking  cold.  Like ice-on-the-tent cold, or icicle-under-a-faucet cold.  We were commiserating about this on Saturday, when Martin said to Meryl** with a straight face, "what you need is a fleischdecke."  Wait, what?  Fleischdecke literally means "meat blanket".  Martin quickly explained that sometimes to keep warm, one must go beyond cloth blankets and bring someone to bed to keep you warm -- a meat blanket.

Ever the pragmatist, Meryl glanced at Adriano and Josh (who shared a tent) and asked, "can I have two?"

So, next time you're cold, or maybe just lonely, why not pass on the fleece and go for a meat blanket instead?

* Clearly studying isn't something I love about it.
** She whined about the cold more than I did, though with significantly fewer f-bombs.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Ultimate-Related Lies I Told Myself This Weekend

In no particular order...
  • "I can make this throw." Oooooh, try again, Pottsie.
  • "If I layout, I can get this D." Nope, you can get a front-row seat for a score.
  • "That was not a pop I heard from my ankle." Actually, it was. But until you get a snap and a crackle with it, you'll be ok.
  • "I'm not going to blow this throw after a good coach." No, you're going to make a throw that both blows AND sucks.
  • "Just because I'm playing like a retarded monkey, I'm not going to yell 'FUCK'." No, wait, I am.
  • From the tent on Friday:
    • "I'm going to be warm after I zip up the sleeping bag." Keep trying, slick.
    • "I'm going to be warm after I put on my hat" Not quite.
    • "I'm going to be warm after I put my jacket on top of my sleeping bag." Almost there...
  • "I'm not going to bail on the party before 1 am." Hellllooooooo, tent.
  • "I can cover this guy."  Well, you could -- until he scored.
  • "I will listen to this whole song before mocking the band." In my defense, it was very mock-worthy.

Saturday, May 08, 2010

The Year of Good Books, Redux: March

What am I doing this weekend? Catching up on my reading... -themed posts. FBers go HERE for pics.

March was a significantly more prolific month -- I needed to get the taste of "Fall of Hyperion" out of my mind.

Olivia Judson is HI-larious. Go, buy this book and learn a lot more about the bizarre sex lives of the organisms around us. Written as a series of Dear Abby-style letters and responses from a variety of species, this covers an amazing bit of ground. You'll be glad you're not driven by evolutionary pressures* to throw yourself into the jaws of your mate during copulation to increase your chances of reproducing. And if you think I'm bad at cock blocking, I don't actually have my junk break off during sex to physically prevent the next guy from sowing his oats.

Timothy Zahn writes some great Star Wars novels, but this wasnt one of them. It's a fun, quick read, but his "bad guy" is a bit cartoonish. And it's light on the lightsabering, which is a bummer.

I waited 8 months to read the second book in George RR Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire. I didn't want to be drawn into another epic fantasy series like The Wheel of Time. I should've waited longer, since while "A Game of Thrones" was good, "A Clash of Kings" is freakin' good. And "A Storm of Swords"? Wow. Martin writes fascinating characters, and none are safe. Be warned, though. These are literary Lays -- you're not going to want to read just one. Unfortunately, he's been working on the next book for 5 years. On the bright side, HBO is turning these into a new series. Since they're filled with sex, violence and political intrigue, they seem perfect for HBO.

A female Indiana Jones/Sherlock Holmes combo in Victorian-era Egypt? Sure, why not? It's an easy read, though it skews a bit too much to the romance side for me. I'm not sure I'll read any of the many sequels, but it was fun.

SO? What's the story? A good month of reading, actually.

* Or, in Texas and Kansas, creationary/intelligent designary pressures.

The Year of Good Books, Redux: February

So, the blog blahs spilled over to easiest posts -- my reading reviews. And February would've been especially easy, since I only finished 2 books. Here you go! FBers go HERE for book cover pics and links.

Tom Gjelten has written a history of the Cuban fight for independence framed around the Bacardi family and their tasty beverage. It's a great approach to a complicated, depressing subject (SPOILER! Cuba manages independence, but not freedom). Not spectacular, but interesting.

Contrasting this is Dan Simmons "sequel" (really just the second half of the book) to "Hyperion". He's trying to fit a bunch of big ideas into an exciting sci-fi novel, and it just doesn't work. Some of the ideas are very interesting, especially the idea that an highly interlinked society actually retards rather than enables the evolution of human culture and ideas. Unfortunately, the Macguffin of the books, the Shrike, is pretty poorly thought-out, and the threads never really come together. Simmons had the basis for several thought-provoking, interesting books, but he tried to do too much and, like George Costanza, "flew too close to the sun on wings of pastrami" or bloated prose.

So, a weak month of reading, and you'll be well-served to skip Hyperion. But feel free to ponder and discuss the idea that the interconnectedness of modern society is leading to conformity and suppressing ideas.

Monday, May 03, 2010

German Gym Jackholes, Part 8

Men of Fitness First, WTF? Seriously, what is wrong you fing people? Every time I think I've plumbed the depths of your disgusting personal hygiene habits, you surprise me.

This incident happened on Friday night. I walk in, and the only free locker is right behind a guy sitting on one of the changing benches. Maybe he's reading, maybe tying his shoes, but I've learned it doesn't behoove me to be curious. I put my bag on the bench, put my jacket in the locker, and turn back around -- to see this dipshit stand up, revealing his ass, "covered" only in a jock. Sitting bare-assed on a communal bench? Ugh. Put on some shorts, pants, a goddamn skirt, I don't care, just keep your cheeks off the damn bench.

Yeah, I know I'm overreacting. Sue me.

Sunday, May 02, 2010

Your Guide To Ultimate Captain-Speak, Part 1

While at the latest Ultimate DeLux Training Camp, I realized that there are many euphemisms that captains and coaches use that may not be clear to non-native speakers, or to players new to team sports. So, here are a few of the most common.

What They SAY: Nice try!
What They MEAN: Wow! You do suck.

What They SAY: C'mon, you can do better!
What They MEAN: No, you can't. You'd better bring a comfortable chair to tournaments.

What They SAY: I can't play because my ankle is still hurt.
What They MEAN: I'm too hungover to run.

What They SAY: I'm so excited about this team!
What They MEAN: My other team didn't qualify for Worlds

What They SAY: JT, patience!
What They MEAN: Ugh, here comes another stupid huck. I hope these light posts are sturdy.

What They SAY: Lauf! Lauf!
What They MEAN: Well, I guess we'll be on O the next point.

What They SAY: Don't forget about your dump.
What They MEAN: You should never look for anything except a dump.

What They SAY: The team is really improving
What They MEAN: I'm moving to Vancouver.

If you're confused about other statements, feel free to ask!

Saturday, May 01, 2010

A Clarification On My Facebook Status

Several people have expressed concern over some of my recent facebook status messages, and you shouldn't. The chart below gives the distribution of my FB status updates:

So, as you can see, it's best to assume that any status updates are not really about me.  For instance, my most recent one, "JT is shoving down emotions and proceeding as if Everything's fine" is actually from 30 Rock, and I just thought it was funny, though your mileage may vary.

So, in the future, ask yourself, does today's status have that 1-in-50 ring of truth about it?