Acceptable Status Updates:
- reminds you that it's his way til payday
- forgot his catchphrase
- is Joe E Richardson III, Facebook signature
- is not getting sucked into your crazy reality-show nonsense
- refuses to wear anything in his size or appropriate for his age
- found a glove in the elevator
UNacceptable Status Updates:
- has dreamed of being a singer ever since he was a little... drunk
- is a Christian Illiterate
- 's shirt is tucked into his underwear
- is a switch-hitter, pitcher, catcher -- whatever the boys need
- thinks this is some white nonsense
- 's mom still wants you to rot in hell
- used to be in the military, but got unfairly thrown out for going berserker and trying to bang everybody
- is extremely secure in his athleticism, masculinity and rectal integrity
- only passes gas once-a-year atop a mountain in Switzerland
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