Monday, January 30, 2012

Ahhhh... New York

It's too late to start spreadin' the news, I've already left New York. But I did post photos, with snark. That's how I roll. More to come of art and food. Or not. I wouldn't hold your breath.

Friday, January 13, 2012

30 Rock Status Updates - Dance Like Nobody's Watching

30 Rock is back! As always*, I'm here to sort the various potential Facebook status updates into Appropriate (for Family/coworkers/potential dates) and Inappropriate (or, for my friends, Appropriate). This way you don't have to admit to your friends that you watch "Two and a Half Men" reruns instead of good TV.**

- is a Doogie Howser type, but younger
- isn't being weighed down by redundant torso fabric
- is finally doing his dream chores
- loves it when the swarthy lady gets the guy
- bet his money on the bobtail nag; somebody bet on the bay

- is like a human tumbler of Scotch
- is wearing a dickie
- is logging onto
- is leaving the thinking to other religions
- uses Satchel Paige brand tampons
- 's wrist is starting to bother him from slapping busboys

* "Always" in the jtingermany sense of "if i feel like it"
** It wouldn't be a jtingermany post without some pretentiousness, now would it?

Sunday, January 08, 2012

2012 Resolutions -- RESOLVED!

I've been less than successful with my resolutions the past few years, so I decided to do more manageable ones for 2012. And it's been a rousing success.

  • Go to the gym.  Status: Fulfilled
  • Read a book.  Status: Fulfilled
  • See a good sunrise AND a good sunset.  Status: Fulfilled
  • Curse less.  Status: Fulfilled!*
  • Eat healthier.  Status: Fulfilled!**

It was tough to do so much in such a short span of time, but I did it. For all of you still struggling with your resolutions, I feel your pain! Good luck, suckers!

* Compared to the total amount of cursing in 2011, you shit-eating dumbass. Sorry, I had a bit of room to spare.
** Compared to the final 3 weeks of 2011.